The 2013 QCRG Draft

Draft month is one of the most exciting times in QCRG. The skaters of Queens Court who want to join the Saucies, Kats, Dollies or Knockouts have been working hard for a long time. They’ve met all the teams. They’ve practiced and bouted and crossed their fingers that team captains have noticed them.

It all comes down to Thursday, October 4 when QCRG will meet at the Century Grill behind closed doors and the Saucies, Kats, Dollies & Knockouts will chose their new teammates for the 2013 season.

It’s a thrilling, exciting, nerve-wracking, anxious time for the new skaters. There are almost always more skaters than spots available so unfortunately, some skaters will be disappointed. This year there are 18 spots open on the teams. The Kats will have a transformative year; they have 10 openings. The Dollies have 2, the Saucies have 3 and the Knockouts have 3.

What about the girls who don’t get drafted this year? It does not end their QCRG career. They can stay on the Queens Court and improve their skills, participate in all league activities, and try again next year.

With no further ado, we’d like to introduce you to are some of the skaters you’ll be seeing on the track of Rainbow Rink this season.

Photo by Andy Foremiak
Arti Choker is an up-and-coming player who always looks for that healthy course around the track. Don’t be fooled by her cool demeanor; this artichoke has a heart too. No longer green to roller derby, she is a blur in the rink and hopes to refine a position so that when she retires, her team will mourn her for her skills.

While her number-one love will always be baseball, Bear Lee Legal finds roller derby an exhilarating break from working full time and raising a son. She loves to hit and refuses to give up on anything she wants to learn. Her goals are to keep a good attitude, nail those crossovers, and play good music while doing it.

Chickadeemolish is a bird researcher and derby hawk. As one of eight children she’s had to fight to be heard, and belts out her trademark “HIYAA!” while playing any position on the track. Outside the rink, the athlete tries her hand in martial arts, hula, aqua aerobics, softball and basketball. Chickadee hopes her hard work and team-communication skills will earn her a spot on one of the teams.

Constant Patient isn’t just number two when it comes to mohawks. The soccer aficionado traded cleats for skates and now splits her time between running the rink and tearing it up on the derby track. When she grows up she hopes to be a grumpy old cat lady surrounded by anime collectibles.

Cuban Mistress Crisis is quiet but deadly weapon on the track. This Queen’s Court captain knows her game and likes to strategize long-range attacks. Outside the rink, Cuban loves crafts, movies and taking care of her baby daughter. She also works in clinical research.

How do you like Dem Apples? This skater loves to spend time rolling through the outdoors with her sons and finds strength on-track as a gnat and positional blocker. She works to channel her inner aggression into the sport and gives 100% at each practice. When people ask her, “What if you get hurt?” she answers with, “What if I am awesome?”

Before roller derby, the only sports Die Candy played were drinking games, mind games and hide-and-go-seek. However, the competitive side of this mother of three has been awakened through what she calls “the perfect sport.” She’s in the game to prove to herself that she can do anything she sets her mind to, and wants to learn the inner-workings of every position.

Photo by Andy Foremiak
Dillar Dollar is a jamming scholar who’s not afraid to get out there and try new things on the track. While her hobbies include gardening, cooking, baking and “pretty much anything a 95-year-old woman would do,” this skater is no granny in the rink. She hopes to continue building her skills as a strong jammer and effective blocker.

When Freya Treyne started roller derby, she had never even skated. However, this blocker will now rake you over the coals if you try to cross her caboose. When she’s not teaching history to undergraduates or walking her cat, Freya works to become an impenetrable locomotive on the track with the attitude of, “If there’s a will, there’s a way!”

Joyride has been hijacking the local rinks with her family since childhood. She also loves spiking volleyballs on the beach and working out at the gym. In addition to parenting, Joy is president of her baseball/softball little league and carries her athletic prowess around the track.

June CleaveHer is no stereotypical homemaker—when she’s not jumping out of an airplane or rock climbing, she’s running half-marathons or rocking out at a concert (she does like to sew, though). June loves to strategize on the track and considers intricate footwork to be one of her top skills. She has also refereed and looks to build her skills further in jamming, pivoting and blocking.

Marci Beaucoup. Photo by Andy Foremiak
Kryptonfite can track your movement like a heat-seeking missile. She deftly follows directions from fellow teammates, but she’s no pushover—in fact, she’s just figuring out your Achilles ’ heel. The skater loves to read, watch movies, play hockey and “be artistic.”

Derby is Lead W Cleavage’s new workout plan. She traded her tap shoes for eight wheels and is now an impenetrable wall on the court. She can also hunt down a good deal like it’s nobody’s business and brings some great SWAG to the afterparties.

LiBRAWLian is a bookworm by day and lacrosse-playing, puck-whacking, weight-lifting jammer by night. Don’t let her southern hospitality fool you— one year in hockey, she acquired the most penalty minutes in the state’s female hockey league. This Furies player takes derby seriously and will knock you to the back of the Dewey Decimal System.

Marci Beaucoup will knock you over with a polite “excusez-moi” and leave you eating dust in the wake of her motorcycle. In her free time, she likes to go on adventures or just relax in the garden. On court, Marci dedicates herself to turning constructive criticism into stellar footwork.

Photo by Andy Foremiak.
Maulbright Knocks is a piece of work. When she’s not crafting words on paper, conversing with spirits or teaching children how to speak English in Japan, she’s building endurance on the rink and learning the art of good hits. Even when she’s knocked on her butt she gets right back up, and hopes steady practice will turn her into a valuable asset for the team.

Every winter as a child, MissFire would turn her basement into a roller rink and whip herself around the pillars. Today, after returning from years abroad as an anthropologist, she’s taking back her roots and using her knowledge of speed, skill and balance as an up-and-coming jammer. She just uses people instead of poles.

As an ovarian cancer survivor of seven years, OCDiesel makes sure to smile every day, which in turn makes others smile. And if you don’t smile, she’ll be sure to shout something loud and encouraging to wake you the hell up. This persistent, upbeat attitude carries over to derby, where she adapts easily and doesn’t give up.

In the rink, Onya Tukas can drop it low and stay on your behind ‘til you shout “Oy Ve!” Not easily swayed, Onya has blocked and jammed through scrimmages with chutzpah and volunteers as a non-skating official. She loves to help with all the happenin’ QCRG events, from holiday parties to awards banquets. And when the winds be kind, Onya trims the jib and mans the sails as she races on the mighty Lake Erie.

Photo by Andy Foremiak
Pearl Recklace is always up for something fun, especially if it’s a party. However, her serious side is committed to building up her endurance and confidence in the rink. Pearl’s philosophy is that today is yesterday’s tomorrow, so make it count.

Aye, Scallywag Charlie be a proud and hardy buccaneer, a fearless skater amongst shipmates and a bouncer-back of falls and spills. She cherished her bike before it was so wrongfully plundered, but, by thunder, she swears she will treat the scurvy swags who took it with a roundshot boot to the head. She be expectin’ a little one any time, but her sea legs be wishin’ to brave the squall once more.

SHAM ROCKS has felt lucky to be a member of Queens Court since day one. With hard work and practice, this athlete who once kayaked for 42 miles in the Adirondacks feels she has now found a home on eight wheels. In fact, she only takes off her skates to watch Real Housewives.

Photo by Andy Foremiak
Slash ‘N Bash is a junior league vet now ready to hit it big time. The Ice Ice Babies taught her not to be afraid to fall and prepped her to kick some ass. In her spare time, this cancer survivor loves to volunteer and help others.

Stella Starlight took her name from her grandmother and is ready to bring a modern twist to it. This equestrian devotee wants to be a thoroughbred on the track and adamantly spreads the good word of Derby to new fans and potential players.

Faster than a speeding Riedell, Super Mighty can call a jammer on a penalty, then turn the tables and rack up wicked points for her team. This former competitive bodybuilder traded weights for skates and now helps with the Ice Ice Babies, where she enjoys seeing the future of QCRG develop before her eyes; especially in her daughter. Off track, you can find Mighty at the sideline of a soccer field, cheering on her kids. Beware: great things come in small packages.

Since she’s been a cub, Tiger Terror has been sharpening her claws on all kinds of athletics, from swimming to basketball to track and softball. She is also the only female in Western New York to umpire boys’ baseball. Her athletic prowess is just as fierce in derby, as she learns quickly and can both attack and defend with teeth bared.

Stella Starlight
With a victory for the team in mind, Violent Femme’s jammer wheels burn across the rink so fast they could blister the sun. The competitive Cleveland native has a high pain tolerance and refuses to throw in the towel. You gotta add it up, but Femme also has a crazy skill set, from snowmobiling to hunting to golfing to making wine (and drinking it) to bowling.

Wailing Wench is a hardy brew that works vigorously, recovers fast and endures through the night. Although she hadn’t skated for years before joining derby, Wench worked tirelessly and brought her laps in five minutes from 17 to 33. Wench is a certified personal trainer and group fitness instructor.

Yunita Bakhoff can send you back to school with her iron boxing fists and hardiness from raising teenagers. This skater didn’t let an ankle injury stand in her way, and returned to the track as balanced and hard-hitting as ever. Yunita teaches special education and likes to read a good book on the beach.

There you have it QCRG, the draft pool of the 2013 season. Watch Facebook and Twitter for updates throughout the night of October 4 and come see these girls in their first home team games in January.