(This interview has been edited for length and clarity.)
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for having me.
So, are there any topics that are off limits?
No. Derby or non-derby, I am an open book.
Ok. Standard first question: what is your greatest fear?
Jumping the apex. The dark. Derby related – jumping the apex. Out of derby, the dark, fear of the unknown. Oh, and knee injuries.
Ok, that’s more than I was expecting.
I got some fears. I’m a fearful lady.
So, ok, the transition was very fun because, for my last year in Juniors, it was COVID season, so I didn’t really get a final junior season, all of my veterans left me, and then I was there, and then there was no derby for like two years. And then when I came back, all the people that coached me, played with my mom, my mom coached, and was captain for, were all my teammates. So, it was a very nice environment to, like, “oh I know all of you, ‘cuz I grew up watching all of you skate, and now here *I* am.” So, it was very helpful with such a deep background in the league transitioning into the adult league, because it wasn’t like new school anxiety being the new guy. It was like I have a reputation in the league already and everyone is as happy to see me as I am to be back. But I would say yes it does give a little bit of an advantage, because I’ve been skating <thinks> for fourteen years, and our coaches, the junior coaches, were old Furies captains, so anything that they would do in a practice on a Monday, they would come bring to us on a Wednesday. So, we were having such outsider knowledge that most other juniors teams weren’t getting. And then in turn, when I came to the adult league, I knew what was going on. I knew all the drills, because our coaches taught them to us as little, tiny baybays.
Do you get to play with any of the skaters you idolized as a junior, and have you already surpassed them?
I would say I get to skate with them. What do you mean by surpassed, like skill wise?
No, no. They’ve been skating as long as I’ve been alive. But I did get to skate with some of my mommy’s old teammates, and people that I’ve literally known of since I was like four. So it is an honor. Thinking about it, a lot of these skaters I grew up idolizing have only been playing derby maybe 4 or 5 years longer than me, as the junior league was formed roughly 4 years after QCRG being established, so I would definitely say they are better than me without a doubt, but I’m not too far behind.
So, that leads me to my next question. Your mother used to skate for Queen City. What’s it like following in her footsteps, and is there any possibility of a mother/daughter line in the future?
I have begged my mom to play *one* season with me. She will not. She refuses. She says “I’m too old. I won’t do it!” <In an exaggerated elderly voice> But she’s not too old. Every one of your teammates still plays! Not every teammate, but a lot of them! And they’re equally aged to my sweet, young mother. Um, what was the first half? I’m doing bad.
What’s it like following in her footsteps?
It is honestly very, it’s nice to like feel like I’m carrying on a legacy. Cuz like people like Rocky like used to fold merch in my living room, when my mom was playing and was head of merch, and now that is my captain. Like, it’s like, it’s not humbling I guess, but I feel so honored, to all these people I’ve grown around and idolized for years. Like literally a decade, <In a faux weeping voice> now they’re all my teammates!
So, no desire to beat them to prove your worth? Your skills?
I want to be like them. I feel like I’ve proved my worth with, like, my junior abilities and the attitude that I have, and the skills that keep and keep growing with. But, as much as I’m growing, they are also growing, they are working. We have people with Team Canada, Team Indigenous, Team Philippines. They are doin’ GOOD. Yeah, I don’t think I could surpass anybody. I feel like we’re all just rising steadily together as like a unit, instead of like “you’re better than me, I’m better than you” Like we’re all one, one team, one league. <In a variant of the previous exaggerated elderly voice, but with shades of the late Chris Farley> So much love for them.
Ahhhh!
Caccitore Crusher, and now, M.I.A.
Yes.
So, you’ve skated under a lot of names. Are you embarrassed of your past, or are you afraid of committing to something?
<Confident laughter> I wouldn’t say that I’m <slowly> embarrassed. But when people do refer to me as “Dora,” I’m like, I was literally eight years old when I made the name. So, I’m not, like, embarrassed or ashamed, but I was a child, I did a lot growing, I tried to incorporate my last name, I tried to make it more unique to me. But, no, I’m not embarrassed. I do not like to commit to something. I‘m always thinking of changing. <In what can only be described as a valley girl philosopher voice> Change is the only constant in life.
<The longest contemplation of the interview> Physical Graffiti. Actually, Led Zeppelin II has my favorite Zeppelin song of all time: Since I’ve Been Loving You
What does your off-season training look like?
<Interspersed with conspiratorial giggles> I do not train. I do not train.
So in the season or off-season?
No, unfortunately, my practice is my training. I should train, and would like to say I will in the future, but . . .
Your contract is up for renewal for the 2026 season.
It is?!
Have you considered leaving the Saucies? Leaving Queen City? Retiring from roller derby entirely?
Never retiring. Don’t ever see myself not playing this sport. I’ve played derby longer than I’ve not played derby this far in my life.
Isn’t it? It’s gross, a little bit. But, I would say, I want to try home team out. Respectfully needed a league job; tried out coaching. I don’t not like it. I don’t love it. But it is helping me with, like, confidence in derby. It’s helping me with my knowledge, and you know, directing a group. I wouldn’t say I’m leaving home season, but I make no promises for future. But I will never leave Queen City. I will never skate under another league, unless I literally move out of state or out of a drivable, reasonable area. Unless I genuinely move across the country, I’ll never leave Queen City.
Follow up question: Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Where do you see the state of derby in 10 years?
I hope derby makes it to the X-Games. I hope derby makes it to some actual . . . I just want us to be recognized. I want people to recognize derby as a real sport, the way they recognize, like, the NFL, the NHL. We are a league. We are constantly growing and developing and evolving. Where I see myself in 10 years? Hmm. I don’t have a five-year plan, ten years is <In a voice reminiscent of Groucho Marx> a little bit of a stretch. Like, I’ll probably be here. Where outside of derby? I don’t know. But I’ll definitely be here in some capacity.
Your teammates, fans, and some actual stray dogs have started copying your famous barking chant. How did you come up with this?
I’m honored. I have two dogs, and when we bought . . . bought . . . when we adopted two puppies, at different times. <In a shout-out to no one in particular> I have two dogs, PETER AND CHIP, and they are sweet angels! But they bark a lot, so instead of yelling at them, I just started to bark back at them, and then I just liked it. It was just like a vocal . . . stim. Not like a tic, but a verbal stim. I liked barking. I thought it was funny. And then, I started doing it at derby, and everyone was like “Oh, wait! That’s kinda hype!” and I’m like <in the voice of a Cajun shrimp boat captain> “I think so too!” And then everybody started barking. I’m so honored. I love the bark. I think it’s so good. With being M.I.A. and being in the league for so long, I definitely feel like I hold a role, as being the person on the bench that makes sure everybody is in a good mood. Because coming from the Juniors, we didn’t have the best morale all the time. We didn’t have the best egos. So, I definitely do take it upon myself to make sure I’m barking, make sure I’m hyping everybody up, I’m giving everybody high fives, and making sure everybody’s in the zone they need to be in the perform the way they need to perform. Because from experience, when you don’t have someone, or you do just rely on yourself to uplift yourself, it’s hard. And when no one’s backing you, it’s even harder. So I definitely do like to walk around, and make sure, like <in a lower register and three times as loud, with clapping for emphasis> “WHOO WHOO We’re ready! Let’s go team!” I want to make sure everybody’s always at their A-game, always has the energy up. Because I know what it’s like to not have the energy up.
Yeah, I wanna be the team hype man. I think I’ve earned the role pretty well. Everybody looks at me for the barking and the cheers.
You’ve stepped into a void.
Yeah! When we made it to Regionals, and I wasn’t playing in the game against Arch, I did not play that game. And a little bit of me was disappointed, but at the same time, I’m like “do I want to get absolutely destroyed?” No. So I took that opportunity, I can cheer for my team the whole game, I don’t have to get distracted, I don’t have to worry about how loud I am, or disrupting the bench. I can just hype everybody the *whole* time. It’s just nice. I like to be loving and helpful and uplifting.
What is your greatest accomplishment in roller derby?
Made the Furies my first try out? That was pretty cool. Um, I was part of the . . . I don’t know. My greatest derby accomplishment? Hmm. As a junior, we had a rivalry with Crooked River, and I will never forget when we finally beat them. That was impressive for me. I’ve been ejected from a lot of games. Those were always . . . I was never disappointed. Those were all very much earned. I’ve gotten a lot better with not getting fouled out. I don’t know.
So, adherence to the rules?
Yeah, I definitely can say I accomplished making it through a game without a single penalty and even having a streak of 5 bouts – no penalties! So that’s cool and really good for me!
This is the last question: Despite your reputation for ferocity on the track, you seem to be a favorite of the little kids.
I don’t know why. They love me! I’m a sweet person.
That I’m, like, a sweet angel? I mean, I think I’m a people person. I’m not mean. I don’t like to be mean, I don’t want to be perceived as a . . . beeeee word. But whenever a young kid . . . I’m their idol, it makes me feel like when I was their age, idolizing people like Librawlian and Murphy, and all those. It’s just nice to be on the other side, and so they need to see that we are good people, we are welcoming people. I want them to want to come to our games and come to practice, and be involved. And no one would want to be involved if I was a cold-hearted person all the time.
Are you worried that you’re encouraging your future competition?
No. No.
Because they won’t ever be as good as you?
I mean, even if they surpass my skill, it’s like, I have so much <in a posh English or Boston Brahmin accent> knowledge, so much thought in the sport. Not that they won’t ever be as good as me, but they’ll never be me. There are plenty of league mates of mine who have more skill and knowledge, but they don’t have my energy, my passion, and the heart that makes this sport what it is to me. And without good competition, it’s not a good game, so I actually hope to encourage everyone to be a better skater. And I have a reputation in the league low key. Like, I bark a lot. Everyone knows me for the barks, for the glitter. They all know me as Bea Aggressive’s kid. But it’s like, now I’m not Bea Aggressive’s kid anymore. Now I’m just M.I.A., and I’m my own person. And growing up in the league, it’s nice to finally “oh, wait, there’s a lot of people that don’t associate me as Bea’s kid.” I am just M.I.A. They just know *me*. <reappearance of the posh English/Boston Brahmin accent> It’s very naice.
Well, that’s it.
<Immediate, primal> YEEAH!
(Interview by VooDooChild)