SuperNova also stresses that fast feet refers not simply to forward motion but lateral, as well as stopping and starting within a small distance. This is very challenging on roller skates. SuperNova suggests the following drills to work on training your legs for these skills:
- Jumping side to side: making it your goal to jump faster and faster with focus on balance
- Obstacle footwork: placing foreign objects on the track and forcing the skater to use full acceleration around the obstacle to avoid it
- Weaving thru cones that are placed close together: lateral movements between cones
- Challenge every movement with equal energy: from a sprint to stop to sprint

If you’d like to see a way to practice fast feet off-skates there’s this quick video demonstrated by Quadzilla in which is moves he toes up and down (in sneakers) as fast we he can, maintaining derby stance:

Fast movement can be achieved by coupling powerful and deliberate steps with body positioning and weight redistribution. The key to fast movement is not just how fast you can move laterally from left to right but how fast you can switch from moving left to moving right. Mr. T, training coach of the Lake Effect Furies, explains how a skater can think about weight distribution: “When changing direction you can think of your legs like springs; when changing direction your lead leg takes on your weight (compressing a spring), then pushes you back in the other direction (release of the spring).”

One last consideration when focusing on the skill of improving your “fast feet” abilities is to focus on the “feet” part – and I don’t just mean a pedicure. But be sure to stretch and move, point and flex, twist and massage your feet and ankles. This will help all the muscles in your feet move better and provide for better balance and alignment.

A human foot and ankle is a strong, mechanical structure that contains 26 bones, 33 joints, and more than 100 muscles, tendons and ligaments. The 52 bones in your feet make up one quarter of all the bones in your body. When they are out of alignment, so is the rest of your body. We put a lot of strain on our feet (and we need them to play roller derby!) so let’s not forget to give them the TLC they deserve.

Have you loved your feet today?

~Mexicali Bruise

First Bout: Lake Effect Furies Take On the Long Island Roller Rebels

Photo by Jim Bush

After a LEF jammer spent time in the box and another jammer, Abercrombie & Fists (#99), got injured, the score shifted to 104-51 Furies by the end of jam 13. Blockers including Pepper Stix (#60), CU~T (#52), and Head Huntress (#54) held off the opposing jammer during power jams in which the Roller Rebels were keeping the pack slow for their jammer’s benefit. Nearing the end of the first half, the Long Island Roller Girls were working hard to gain on the Lake Effect Furies. However the Furies defense used strategies such as “waterfalling” and “pinches” to get jammers like Addy Rawl to lengthen the lead. At the half the score was 154 Furies -74 Rebels.

Photo by Jim Bush

During the second half, the Furies regained a considerable lead over the Rebels. Though the Furies did struggle with players in the box (at one time having 4 skaters assigned major penalties), they were able to make up losses with high scoring jams. With five minutes left of the bout, blocker VaJenna Warrior delivered a pick to aid LiBRAWLian with another 35 unanswered points.

Final score 325-133 LEF. The next Furies home game is against Burning River Roller Girls on June 15.

Second Bout: Hell on Wheels

Photo by Jim Bush

The bout began with jammers for both teams fighting for four points at a time. The score was staying close with jams ending in 0-4, 4-4, 8-8. At jam 4, Saucies jammer B’kini Whacks (#21) started some jammer on jammer action by knocking down Devil Dollies jammer Crown Victoria (#404). By jam 7 the Saucies began to take the lead after a power jam helped B’kini Whacks pick up 20 unanswered points, leading to a score of 41 Saucies – 18 Dollies.

Photo by Jim Bush

With two minutes left to the end of the half, the Saucies had the lead with a score of 96-86. Then Day TripHer (#711)took the line as jammer for the Dollies and delivered a 20-point jam to her team. At this time the Saucies lost a star blocker, Head Huntress (#54), to injury. By the end of the nail-biter first half the Dollies had gained the lead with a score of 106-96.

Photo by Jim Bush

The Dollies and Saucies will lock horns again at the QCRG Playoffs on May 11 when the Nickel City Knockouts and the Alley Kats meet up again as well.

Tickets are available here.

~Mexicali Bruise

What got you interested in derby? How did you find out?
There’s a short version and a long version to that question. The short version is that I had been watching for a couple years and really liked the game so I thought I would give it a shot. It looked like fun!

The long version is that a few of my friends and I went to the first Queen’s Court Chili Cook Off before ever seeing a bout. My husband, who is now my #1 fan, won the door prize, which was a basket full of team t-shirts. We went to the first bout with me wearing a Kats shirt and my husband a Saucies shirt.

Like a lot of first timers, I had no idea what was going on and I couldn’t see very well. I just remember a lot of fishnets and cheeky butts. But we had such a good time we kept going back and we figured out that sitting on one of the bumpers in the back near the arcade was the best place to watch.

Photo by Andy Foremiak

So in August 2011, I signed up for the boot camp with my friend Blackrock Bruiser, and that was it. I didn’t pass the assessment that first time but it was okay, I kept skating with the Queen’s Court and most important, I kept trying.

I had never played a sport, let alone a full contact sport before. I really don’t know why I wanted to play. I think I wanted something different to do. At the time, I sat a lot for my job so I think I just wanted to move around. Little did I know what I was getting into.

How did you pick your name?
I was so stressed about it for a couple days after I started boot camp. I didn’t want to use my name and I really didn’t think I was clever enough to think of something good. So after the second Sunday of boot camp, I thought, “I have to figure this out. What to do I like?” and before I got overwhelmed thinking of everything I like, I started with the letter A. My first thought was “artichokes.” From there came “artichoker,” and then “Arti Choker.” And that was it. I never went on to “B.”

I was so freakin’ happy I thought of something. And then I was paranoid someone else would think of it, so as soon as I could I started telling people so I could be Arti. And I knew right away I didn’t want that “h” in my name, as in “Choke Her.” I didn’t have plans for choking anyone in particular.

Photo by Andy Foremiak

How did you improve the first year?
Within a year it was like night and day. I mean I still don’t think I’m the best skater today, but even I could tell that I was getting better. It took a lot of work but it was so much fun. Before passing my assessment a bunch of us new Queen’s Court girls would go to open skate and practice basic skills. That really helped.

What was it like the night you got drafted to the Saucies?
It was crazy— definitely a roller coaster type of night. I was so nervous. I had been trying to improve for over a year and I really couldn’t tell if what I had been doing would be enough to get drafted. Sometimes you can try and try and it just doesn’t cut it. I was nervous that I wouldn’t be enough for the teams.

And then when my name was called, I was shocked. I mean, they picked me! I cried because I was so relieved. Then I realized that some of my closest friends were on different teams. I figured that would happen but it was still a little sad so I cried a little more. I cry at almost everything. Honestly I don’t remember too much after that. It was a bit of a blur— but not because I was drinking; I was just so keyed up from getting drafted.

Photo by Andy Foremiak

What would you say are your strengths in derby?
I listen well on the track. You tell me to get somewhere and I try my hardest. Most times, when I’m on the track, I’m yelling about what’s going. When I know I can’t get somewhere to block, I try to tell someone who can.

What is your most memorable moment in derby?
One that comes to mind when I’m talking to newer skaters is the first time I went to a league scrimmage. I was out-of my-mind nervous because for some reason no one else from Queen’s Court was there.

I didn’t tell anyone it was my first time at a league scrimmage (big mistake) and I was told to jam. Jam? Yikes! I felt like I could barely skate and I was supposed to get through a pack of vets. Yeah right. Vajenna was blocking on my team and she just cleared a path. I followed her and got lead jammer. I don’t remember how many points I scored, if any. It didn’t matter. I just felt so relieved that I got through first.

The rest of that night was tough. CU~T (Captain of the Lake Effect Furies and a 7 year veteran) was not on my team… I’ll leave it at that. But in the end I learned things. And, obviously I had a good enough time that I kept coming back.

What other role do you play in the league?
I’m the Job Coordinator for the league. I help people get league jobs when they join and work with the committee heads to make sure people are doing what they signed up to do. I’d like to be able to spend more time on it—lately my real job gets in my way. I love my real job, don’t get me wrong, I just wish I had the time and energy to do both 100% of the time. I’m also the newly appointed Suicidal Saucie representative for the Board of Directors.

Last year when I was still a part of the Queen’s Court, I was the bout volunteer coordinator and it was my job to make sure people signed up and worked at the bouts. I really liked doing that. Then last September I was the volunteer coordinator for the regional tournament. That was a ton of work but I loved it, too. Doing these jobs really helped me meet everyone in the league. I know a lot of the people, at least by name and face. I’m probably one of the few people who knows people’s real names and derby names.

Is derby different than you thought it would be?
When I started I had never played a sport, I didn’t work out. I didn’t like to get hurt. I didn’t like to sweat. I still don’t like sweating or getting bruised but I don’t mind it as much. It’s easier to say that I’m not what I thought I’d be because of derby. For as intense as the sport is, I have really learned to let things go and try not to let stuff bother me. I can only do the best I can do and I can’t get upset about that.

What is it like being a part of QCRG?
When I was in Queen’s Court, it was a like starting college again. There were tons of new people to meet. I didn’t know my way around a skate, and I just felt uncoordinated. But getting to know the people who were in Queen’s Court with me helped me to adjust.

I didn’t go into derby thinking I was going to make friends or have a new kind of social life. I just wanted to do something different. But I got both: something different and a bunch of new friends. Then the Sauce! Oh my god, those girls are amazing. Talk about getting on the right team for me… who knew? People told me before the draft that somehow it works out that you get on the right team. I look forward to practice every Sunday and then going out to breakfast. They make me want to work hard and be a better player. They picked me— I don’t want to let anyone down. And I love them all.

Now that I’ve been a part of QCRG for a while and have made so many friends, I don’t cheer for any specific home team to win any more (unless the Saucies are playing, then of course I want to win). I just want everyone to do well and for the bouts to be exciting for the fans. I want everyone to make good plays and to improve. That’s one reason I really love watching the Furies bouts. I can cheer loudly for our team.

Do you have advice for new skaters?
I guess fake it ‘til you make it. For the longest time I had no idea what the hell I was doing and so I’d go through the motions of the strategies of derby, and then one day it all clicked.

Or maybe just go for it, relax, and have fun. I mean we’re not getting paid and it’s not like we’d fail in life if we aren’t good at derby. It took me a little while to let it go. I wanted to do so well right in the beginning but I had to keep reminding myself that I’m brand-spanking new to derby. Even now, I remind myself that I’ve only been skating for 18 months and I try not to beat myself up too much about not being the best player… yet.

I think the biggest thing to remember is to keep trying and practice as much as you can; especially if you don’t know how to skate or if you’re not exactly an athlete. People progress at different rates, so try not to compare yourself to too many people. I mean it’s really hard not to, but try.

~By Maulbright Knocks

BBQ Dinner 3:00 PM – 5:30 PM
Parade of the Cup 5:30 PM
Doors Open at 6:30 PM | Bout Starts at 7:30PM
Rainbow Roller Rink | 101 Oliver Street, North Tonawanda

Map and Directions to Carnegie Art Center

Map and Directions to Rainbow Rink

Come Celebrate QCRG Day with us! Tickets include chicken barbecue dinner and bout ticket to the QCRG Championships!

The Chicken BBQ is being held at the Carnegie Art Center, 3:00pm – 5:30pm. Dinner includes: half chicken, sides and dessert.

There will also be entertainment and QCRG’s photography show Collide-a-Scope II, where you can vote for your favorite photograph for the People’s Choice Award! The Parade of the Cup follows, as we parade to the rink for the Championship Bout, as well as an expo bout between the Queen City Junior Roller Girls and the Cleveland Rockstars!

This year is particularly special because the Lake Effect Furies are on home turf. The travel team has been working hard to earn a spot at the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA) Division 2 playoffs this summer. Recently, they played in round robin style tournament during Quad City Chaos in Toronto. Even though the Furies lost all three games, they had an excellent showing against CN Power and Ohio Roller Girls and the close games boosted their rankings.

The Long Island Roller Rebels are ranked 98th, according to the current WFTDA rankings. The Furies sit at 68th. The Roller Rebels played their first game of the season a few weeks ago against Garden State and lost by a slim margin in an incredibly close match.

This will be the seventh annual Dollies vs. Saucies Hell on Wheels. The Dollies have won the last two years but the Saucies are primed for this one with the new shakeup in coaching staff and a couple of adjustments on the bench. They are coming off their first home win in three years against the Kats and are aiming to make it two in a row.

The Dollies however, have consistency on the bench and coaching in their favor and made an excellent showing against the Knockouts in their last home game. The Dollies’ last game was on March 23rd against the Toronto Bay Street Bruisers. It was a bruising game and the Dollies lost in a landslide. However, the loss may have allowed them to reevaluate their strategies for the upcoming bout.

A portion of the proceeds of the doubleheader will benefit Crisis Services. Al Cohen’s rye bread toss will be held between the bouts instead of at halftime. Bring your butter.

Get your tickets at www.qcrg.net.

Perhaps the biggest disparity between the two teams is the amount of turnover. While the Knockouts’ lineup is comparable to last year, Kats captain Knockin’ Das Boots has seen a fifty-percent change in team members this season.

“The girls are newer, but we have twenty healthy skaters,” Boots said. “The KO bout will be the most challenging yet, but it will be valuable experience for our rookie skaters.”

Knockouts captain Lamb Chop believes that while “the respect, dependability and accountability between all of the Knockouts is very strong and stable,” all the teams have been working hard this year for success.

“Every team in this league had been stepping up their game this season and I don’t think any one stands heads above any other,” she said. “I can say that the Knockouts have been fortunate the past couple of years in not having major roster changes, and our leadership and coaching crews have also remained the same.”

Chops says the focus has changed slightly in the Knockouts’ training this year, with a concentration on skating as “one force with a high level of controlled aggression and awareness.” She is also excited about implementing certain line changes.

“New skaters have been added and removed from our roster so there will be some slight changes, but overall we have to find something that works well for us and we are sticking to that formula with small tweaks,” she said.

The Kats’ last match against the Suicidal Saucies helped the team reevaluate their strategy.
“Penalties destroyed any momentum we may have had,” Boots said. “We need to start playing conservatively.”

The bout will benefit Planned Parenthood Federation of America, a leading non-profit organization that provides services for reproductive health, maternal and child health services.

~Maulbright Knocks

Photo by Jim Bush

No I am not talking about trying to get a six-pack because for the majority of us that will never happen. The core is made up of many different muscle types (only 1 of which makes up the six pack muscles) and in anatomy the core refers to your upper and lower torso – so basically the “center” of your body (where the legs and arms attach). Core exercises train the muscles in your pelvis, lower back, hips, and abdomen. For a roller derby skater core strength aids in your balance, recoveries, and unleashing of powerful precision hits. Core muscle strength equals power.

Ivana Lei-Her-Out (NCKO blocker and assistant captain of the Furies) works core strengthening into her weekly weight training routine. Using a barbell with weights on the ground, she performs an exercise known as the rollout. Kneeling, she grasps the center of the barbell and rolls her upper body as far away as she comfortably can and then uses her core muscles to pull her body back up to the start position. She also does this rollout exercise with an ab wheel – which allows her to perform the rollout to the center as well as to the left and right in order to work the muscles in her sides. The rollout can also be done with other forms of equipment like stability balls.

Photo by Jim Bush

You don’t have to belong to a gym or buy any extra equipment to work on strengthening your core. We all have done a plank at this point in our lives; it’s time to start perfecting them. Lie flat on your stomach and lift your entire body up by raising on your toes and resting on your elbows. Keep your back flat and tilt your pelvis while tightening the abs to give your butt straight in line with your body (not sticking up or sagging down). See how long you can hold it staying in good form. Then later try it again. Keep pushing yourself to hold it longer than the previous time. You can do this during the commercials a few times while watching TV.

Many yoga poses that strengthen your core can be practiced individually while you’re at home. Examples include boat (balancing on the bottom of your pelvis keep your back straight while raising your legs up), Warrior 3 (stand on one leg with the rest of your body in a straight horizontal line), and modified headstands. If you enjoy the practice you can go to a class at a local yoga or pilates studio – there are many out there and often they’ll let you try one for free. Many times you don’t have to pay monthly dues but can pay by the class so pop in whenever it works for your schedule.

Core = power. You = powerful. Get to work.

When asked what makes the Alley Kats stand apart from the other teams this year, captain Knockin’ Das Boots replied, “Fresh blood. It doesn’t get any fresher.”

The team has been rebuilding from the ground up this season, replacing many retired skaters with new recruits from Queen’s Court.

“Last year, we had at least seven players out for injury at each bout,” Boots said. “We’ve had fifty-percent turnover this year. The girls are newer, but we have twenty healthy skaters.”

The captain said the team has been focusing on fundamentals, keeping a positive team attitude and a high morale.

Photo by Andy Foremiak

The Saucies are equally resolute about this coming season, according to team captain Alli Snatcher. With the addition of Doctor Dementer as coach, Ace Bandage as bench manager, and a mix of fresh and seasoned skaters, Alli hopes to “bring home some wins, if not the cup.”

“This upcoming bout will be very exciting for the future of the Saucies,” she said. “We have made a change in coaching staff and are really excited about what we have been accomplishing since our January bout.”

According to Alli, the Saucies have been focusing on skills, strategy, and endurance. However, she said the greatest key to success is to use each individual’s strengths to work together as a team.

Photo by Andy Foremiak

Tickets are $15 general admission, $20 front row. The bout kicks off at 7:30 p.m. The Queen City Junior Roller Derby team will play an Expo Bout prior to the senior bout at 7 p.m.

The bout beneficiary is the National MS Society, a non-profit organization dedicated to developing understanding, education and funding research for individuals and families affected by Multiple Sclerosis.

Get your tickets here.

When you join derby you have a sense of who you are. Your friends and family know you by your given name or your nickname. And then the roller derby bug bites you and you have to create your own name. But how do you do it? How do you come up with your own name that uniquely fits you when you aren’t even sure who you’re going to be in this new, exciting world of derby?

Yep, the naming and numbering of newbies is such a fun time – as long as you’ve already picked your name! For those who are going through this, it can become an obsession. Your list can be long, or worse— completely blank.

You think. You get suggestions. You find clever innuendos and pray no one else has come up with them yet. You search the Internet, you obsess over Google. You search TwoEvils.org (the name registry for derby girls throughout the US & beyond). You look to derby players you admire. You write lists. You wrack your brain trying to figure out what the hell you want to be called and who the hell you want to be. And then you have to stop.

You have to stop thinking about it and obsessing about it. Then hopefully, when it’s furthest from your mind, there’s that moment. That moment when something just clicks. You hear a phrase or the name or you think of it out of nowhere and you just know it’s right. And, you’ve been reborn. Your derby name has found you— much like the Sorting Hat in Harry Potter, you’ve found your destiny. Your derby life is no longer you being called “Hey! Orange Shorts!” or Q3 or girl in the green socks or stripped helmet or however it was that your coaches & league identified you as a newbie. You’ve finally solidified your derby career.

But once you find it, once your name is picked, you have this greatest sense of relief and joy and pure happiness. Because now— now you know who you were meant to be when you strap on your skates. And every time you put on that shirt—the one that has your derby name & number— you feel pride. Pride because this is who you picked— who you decided to be. This is the person you get to become every time you put on your gear.

And now you just need to get used to it & figure out exactly how it fits. It might feel very awkward to hear your new name. In fact, there will probably be times when you’re at practice and someone will be yelling to you and you don’t answer. You’ll have to “wear” your name for a bit before it gets comfortable. Before it becomes natural and normal to hear and use. For some it might only take a few weeks— for others, it might take them a season or two. And for some, after some time they realize the name they picked wasn’t quite the right fit, so they change their name.

Maybe in your “real life” you’re normally shy, but put on that name & number & gear – and now you can knock people down. You can take a hit & stay on your feet. You can work with your teammates to make walls. You can take whips. You can be aggressive. You can skate fast & stay low & learn to break down your goals into steps and achieve them one by one.

This is the process I’m watching our newbies go through now. These lovely ladies who joined QCRG just a few short weeks ago. These ladies who can skate more laps each week than they did the week before. These ladies that just a few weeks ago didn’t know what WFTDA stood for or what was in an assessment— they are now doing skills with amazing confidence. Seeing them smile after they went up against their first blocking pads and connected and hit— that was pure joy. Watching them fall and bounce back up in less than 3 seconds. Watching the light bulbs go off as they catch on to the new concepts being taught and watching them grow so fast it’s astounding … and such an honor to be a part of it.

How long were you part of QCRG?

I skated for three seasons: 2007-2009. I was the founder of the Knockouts and the first captain for the ladies in blue. We coached ourselves the first year (boy was that an atrocity), reorganized the second year and had the infamous “Danny” as coach for my third year. I had to have surgery in 2009 (that story is later) and had to stop skating then. I coached the KO’s for one year and then transitioned to announcer and also founded the Queen’s Court – the QCRG home for undrafted skaters.

Once I had my hip surgery, it was clear that I couldn’t do anything on skates anymore and Mason was glad to have me on the microphone at that point. It was good to have a dedicated team of announcers. There was no fumbling to figure out who had the script and commentary, who’s got the color and humor part – we just blended. We were a good team.

Is being an announcer a different job now than when the league began?

With old school announcing, we were free to say anything – including where the jammer was because there wasn’t the same strategy there is now. Now, announcers have to pay attention and call after the play has happened. For example, someone makes a great block and the jammer has to come in bounds behind so-and-so. As an announcer, you can’t say what’s going on while it’s happening. The biggest mistake announcers can make is ANNOUNCING that a team has their jammer in the penalty box. It’s like, thanks for the jam, and thanks for your big mouth! OY -

Photo by Ike

What do you like about derby now, versus when the league first began?

I am so proud, grateful, thankful and hopeful – with the direction it’s taking. I love seeing more strategy and less smash, because it keeps skaters healthier, stronger, and they can have a little bit more of a career instead of getting banged up and saying “oh crap, I can’t do this anymore.” Like in my case – had to hang it up because I want to be able to walk when I’m fifty!

Do you think people are smarter about the physical risk involved now?

I hope so. There’s so much love to play this game that I still think people are rushing back onto their skates too soon. I know I rushed back into it too soon. I remember being back on skates, terrified, thinking, “if I fall again, I don’t even want to think about what will happen. I’m still bruised.” I told one of my teammates “you’ve got to hit me. I’m terrified. I don’t want to fall but you’ve got to hit me.” She was like, “Don’t ask people to hit you, they’re more than happy to hit you. Let it happen whenever.” She still hit me.

What circumstances led to your hip accident?

Photo by Match

The whistle blows and the front of the pack takes off. Second whistle goes. Release the hounds! We’re skating, she wheel locks with me on that very first corner. My feet got pulled out from under me. I levitated perfectly for a split second, kinked at the hip, and then all 200 pounds of me slammed down on my hip.

I kept skating for the whole game. In fact, it was the Knockouts’ first win ever. I didn’t know that I had ruptured my bursa sack and dislocated my femur.

There was no quit in this old girl. I’m in the penalty box five or six jams later screaming, “Somebody get me an ice pack!”

This was 2008. There were no trainers, and only one EMT. You just kept skating until you decided you needed a break, and half the time your coach put you right back in. By the time the night was over, my thigh had engorged. By the time it bled out, my waist to my heel looked like a raw steak, except for the spot that actually hit the floor. It started the legend of Bernard the Bruise.

Photo by Match

It was hard to get medical assistance for such an unusual sport at that time. When I went to yoga a few days later, they threw me out and said: “go to the emergency room, will ya please?” And that was from just looking at the bruise. I went to Immediate Care and the physician wouldn’t even physically touch me. He said you have a bad bruise, take some aspirin and be careful of clotting. So I’m thinking, it’s just a bruise. I went on my merry way, until it started to hurt and got worse step after step.

I went a full year before I finally got to University Sports Medicine. They did an MRI and they told me I had dislocated my femur and that I would need to have surgery to fix it.

Of all the people who should not have that injury, it’s me. I’ve been a fitness instructor for 25 years. I’ve been teaching kickboxing, weight-lifting, pilates, tai chi, yoga, and aqua kick (kickboxing in a pool). I am the queen of cross-training. It was just such a freak accident. I almost think had it been anybody else, it would have been a fractured hip. It would have been a much worse injury. But because of the condition I was in, I was able to get up and still go. Anybody else would have been stretchered and sent to DeGraff.

But it turned out to be a pretty serious injury, right?

I had the surgery in 2009. They had to dislocate my hip twice, initially to pull the femur out to make sure it would go back in. The second time they dislocated it, they resurfaced the ball joint with, for lack of medical term – with “bone spackle.” Then they ground the pelvic lining and filled in the ruts that femur had gouged out. They resurfaced and put it back together. I was off work for three months but then back teaching kickboxing.

The bursa sack is the problem—it lubricates the joint, and, unfortunately, they don’t regenerate. I wish they did, but we’re not chameleons. So that joint does not get the natural stuff it needs and it is compromised. It’s never going to get any better. I have osteoarthritis. At the time they were tossing around the word osteonecrosis, which is bone death. I can’t get a new hip yet because according to my insurance I’m too young. They won’t give me a shiny new hip until I’m older.

I’ve got metal replacement parts from other sports, too. I broke my leg skiing in Vermont in ’93. Had my meniscus repaired from a roller derby injury, broken thumb, four concussions in 3 years and 3 tears in my shoulder. I’ve taken my lumps because when I started, it was smashup derby. It was hit ‘em, hit ‘em hard and send ‘em to the third row.

There was no strategy – hitting them was the strategy. There was no placement on the track, no booty blocking. It was hit, smash and grab, that was it. I’ll never forget what Sissy Fit said to me at the very first jam of practice back in 2006 – she said: “oh shit, you’re going to hit me!”

So your injury is one of the reasons we have a professional sports trainer at all QCRG bouts.

Pastor Pat gave me Tony Surace’s card. He is the Sports Medical Director with University Sports Medicine. Pastor Pat said talk to this guy and see if he can help out the league. I said: “Well that’s a brilliant idea.” I called Tony and had a meeting and it snowballed from there. He wanted to help so much. He arranged for a sports trainer to come to all of our bouts and be there trackside to help any skater stretch, tape up and prep for every bout. It was wonderful.

I’m sure the decision to stop skating wasn’t an easy one.

It was heartbreaking. I wanted to continue coaching my Knockouts, but when I couldn’t get on skates and outskate them anymore, I thought it was time to stop. I felt that I needed to be better than they were in order to teach them. If they’re better than me, they won’t learn anything from me.

I handed over the reigns to Super Nova and dedicated my time to Queen’s Court and announcing. But after a while it was clear I couldn’t do that either. Damn hip. The training committee took over Queen’s Court and I stepped back to just announce. It was heartbreaking to not be able to get on those 8 wheels and keep rolling.

Are you still involved in the league?

No. I don’t announce anymore and don’t get a chance to make it to too many bouts. My heart is still there though. My husband drag races and he’s home so infrequently that I try to keep my schedule clear so I can see him. He’s usually home when there’s a bout and the last thing he wants to do is schlep all the way out to watch roller derby because he lived it 24/7 with me for 5 years. I can’t blame him. It’s time for something else but I will always love QCRG and roller derby. I still go to open skate sometimes and I love the way it feels to zip around the rink. I will always be Mia Mauler.